Now I would like to touch on a topic that some may not wish to hear about, I’m speaking of PrePlanning what your wishes are when when you are unable to care for yourself.
What I’m sharing here is from my experience of helping a dear friend as she moves forward from living independently to a hospital.
For the past two years, I have been speaking to my friend about making arrangements for her care when she isn’t able to care for herself. She kept putting it off as well as appointing a power of attorney, making a health directive and will. I will say, that I wasn’t the only one speaking to her of these issues.
I want to mention that at the beginning of May 2021, she was reported for driving way to slow and a danger to others on the road. She arrived for testing with a person on either side of her as well as a walker. She lost her license.
Now we are two years later at the end of May 2021 and she fell in her apartment and wasn’t able to get up. Luckily a friend checked on her and called for an ambulance.
She is now in week four of her hospital stay. Now everything is moving fast, and everything is overwhelming for her. Everyone asking her to make decisions, finding a care facility and many other financial decisions.
What most don’t realize by putting off these decisions, they are leaving their loved ones with no instruction of their wishes and making it difficult if there is more than one loved one who wishes to be included in the planning, or in my case it has been and continues to be difficult with everyone calling wanting things done which I’m not able to do as there is no power of attorney in place. So everyone is working around me which leaves me not knowing who is doing what and why. When asking my friend she doesn’t remember what has been said, because she is overwhelmed and her life is so unsure and she is scared.
It is during these times that it is important to breathe, remember to be kind, and loving. Set up boundaries and stick to them. To call on a higher power and pray for guidance and support. A strong foundation of faith is so needed and precious at this time.
The one thing I must say is that this is an emotional time for all, so treat each other with love and patience. Remember things still need to be done and moving forward.
For me it took being stern with my friend to get her to start the paperwork for power of attorney and the other paperwork. Believe me it hurt my heart to speak to her in that way but I needed her to decide what she wanted to take place.
One thing I will say is that too many hands in the pot doesn’t make the load easier in my experience. That is why a power of attorney is so important. That one person speaks for their loved one, when they are not able. Plus the benefit is it gives the hospital personnel, care facility and others one person to speak to who can make decisions on behalf of their loved one and follow their wishes. This becomes so difficult without the paperwork as I have found out. I still have not been able to speak to a doctor about what happened and what she needs for care.
So take time to have this discussion and do the follow through work. Once all is complete then enjoy the time with your loved ones. Having the difficult conversation now will make the changes so much easier, they will flow with ease and grace. Remember to include funeral arrangements, music and bible verses. It will be difficult but less stressful for all to have it all planned then to do it on the fly when you should be focused on your loved one. God Bless
Blessings and Love, Delores